You Must Kill your Old Self
Let me explain. I’m going to share with you a concept that I have been pondering for many days now. It is the concept of changing your life and becoming the person who you were meant to be.
The person who you are today, is essentially a combination of your habits and lifestyle choices. Thus, if you are not happy with the person you are today, it means you need to make a simple choice. You need to make the choice of CHANGING your habits and lifestyle choices. This will result in you changing your character and the way you feel about yourself.
But here comes the conundrum, change is very hard. Change is almost impossible. This is why people are obese – they cannot change their eating habits. This is why people are addicts – they cannot stop doing drugs. It’s also why there is an anxiety epidemic – people cannot even change their thinking habits.
Living in the Past will Bring you Failure
The only way for real change to occur is you must abandon your old self.
The other day at work, my colleague who is quite severely obese and unhealthy looking, tried to give me fitness advice. I am of muscular build, yet this man almost has the build of a sumo wrestler, so I thought to myself “Why would this delusional man think he knows more than me about getting fit?”. He then proceeded to show me photos from many years ago when his body was of somewhat decent shape.
There you have it my friends. The man is living in the past.
He thinks that he is still that man who is fit, healthy and qualified to give advice. But his habits have changed him through out the years. He is no longer that man. No matter what advice he tries to give on health, no one will ever respect it. He can try to be funny or he can talk about his other hobbies – but on the subject of fitness, his opinion is not valid anymore. He is no longer that same person he once was.
I thought to myself: that person is no longer you. Your habits have changed, which changed your lifestyle, which changed the way you now see the world. The man is a completely different version of himself. The old him is DEAD.
How Real Change Occurs
Real change can occur in only one way: a massive shift in identity. To kill your old self and form a new, better identity.
What happens when your first girlfriend breaks up with you? you are sad, demoralized, pitiful and heart-broken. Many people, especially women, never get over breakups – they become sad and bitter and carry that into their identity as they get older.
If you do it the right way, a few months after the break-up, you realize you need to change. There is a very clear realization that you need to completely kill your old self – and become a new person. What follows is: hitting the gym hard, eating healthy, learning new things, meeting new people, becoming happier – and eventually meeting a new, better partner. You meet a better partner because you became better.
The crucial point here is that you MUST kill your old self. You need to abandon your former identity if you wish to move on to bigger and better. Alcoholics cannot have “one or two” drinks, they need to completely cut out alcohol from their life, so they can identify as a sober person. This is a drastic change, this is a real change.
Become a New Person
If you want to kill your old self, examine what your habits are. What do you do everyday? What do you do on the weekends? You can very easily change who you are if you just start doing new things, consistently. Dis-identify with your former self and tell yourself you are now moving on to another phase of your life. Tell yourself that the old you, is no longer you – you are now going to experiment with a new identity.
Completely kill your old self. Chuck out all your video games, clean your room, quit your crappy job, stop smoking, stop watching porn, stop aimlessly scrolling the internet – whatever it is that’s holding you back. Cut it out. Replace these habits with new ones. Find role models or people you respect and model their habits. One of my role models growing up was Arnold Schwarzenegger, for that reason alone, I have been going to the gym consistently since I was a teenager. Going to the gym for me is like brushing my teeth – it’s an ingrained habit.
Habits become ingrained. Eventually, what you do day in and day out, becomes who you are. Realize that every bad habit you have, will likely grow and become a part of who you are. Habits can also be the way you conduct yourself, the information you consume – it can be a million different things.
So start today. Drop your bad habits and replace them with different, better habits. From there, stick to your new habits until it becomes an in-grained habit (takes about 30 days). Then, you have changed – and you have become a new person.
Thanks for reading